RBA

Freshman year of high school I took a class called "school success" where we learned about study habits and other useful tools for high school. One thing that I still remember was that my teacher told me that we have relationships with every person we meet, and we call them RBA's or, relationship bank accounts. In a relationship bank account it's like a real banking account that you can put deposits into the relationships: to strengthen it, or withdraw from the account and weaken it. Our guest speaker in class reinforced the importance of every RBA that we make. There are five stages of a relationship that we learned about and most of the relationships. Most of my relationships at school right now are somewhere between surface and structure, which are the lowest levels. I haven't been able to get close with as many people as I would like to but... then again I am still just meeting a lot of people. But I am really really grateful for the significant and solid relationships that I do have. Being able to sort my friendships into these levels has given me a greater appreciation for those that I count as being in a significant relationship with. I definitely need to express my appreciation to them and let them know how much they mean to me.
Something I hadn't heard before which I found to be really interesting was the concept of being a firefighter or a fire-lighter. Fire-lighters are people who go out of their way to keep others fire burning and sustain their passion for something. I have had so many fire-lighters who have made such an influence in my life. From my high school counselor, to my cheer coach I have always admired the people who support me and believe in me. Because of some fire-lighting examples in my life, I tried extra hard my senior year as an upperclassmen to get to know the younger girls in the cheer and choir program and to encourage them to work hard in high school and do everything that they set their mind to. In doing so I made some friendships that I cherish so much. This one girl in particular, Sophie will still message me on Facebook asking for my advice about little things in high school and I absolutely love that she feels like she can still confide in me as her friend.
   This lecture gave me a lot to reflect on and I thought a lot about a friend who I abandoned when he really needed me to help him and support him. In April I realized that one of my friends was in a really bad place and they're influence on me was equally harmful because they were bringing me down. I evaluated how important his friendship was to me and I explained that I just couldn't be close with him anymore. After that and over the past summer I heard that he became really involved in drugs and alcohol and I felt so bad about not being there for him because I knew that all he needed was a good friend who could love and support him. After this lecture last week I called him and it was so good to hear from him and he was so excited that I had called him. We both apologized to each other for things that happened in our relationship and resolved to start over and just work harder. I am so happy that he is a part of my life again and he is equally comforted knowing that he is able to call me and I'll be there for him. Being apart has made things a lot easier for some reason. I think we both did some growing up and the beauty of a RBA is that unlike a real bank account you can never truly close a relationship, that's why friendships can be picked up after a period of time. The lesson this week really meant a lot to me, and I am so happy that I was able to apply it because I have really missed him. Now I feel confident that it is indeed possible to pick up old relationships and be a fire-lighter in people lives!