Wednesday's discussion was perfect timing for all the crazy things going on in my life. The next day I had a midterm and Friday I had an essay due and I was just feeling really run down. I had been really homesick and felt like college was getting the best or me, and I had no more to give. When I had this lesson I was able to really apply it into my weekend and use my time wisely.
In class we discussed how people use the concept of "time" as an excuse and justify the fact that they aren't able to do things by saying "I didn't have enough time" or "there aren't enough hours in the day." But to remember what I've always been taught, that everyone is given 24 hours in a day, it helps me remember that I really am on an equal playing field. I truly believe that time is so precious and that we need to value it and make sure that we are dedicating ourselves to spending it wisely. It was important for me to remember these things because I have always thought that time management was one of my strong points as far as leadership goes. Since being here I have been proven wrong. In high school I was always able to balance my homework, and family, and social life, with school and extra-curricular activities. I don't really know what happened but it just hasn't been quite the same. I've been really hard on myself for it and I am happy that I've been reminded that the question is not managing time but managing myself.
I'm definitely one of those people who usually sits at my little desk the night before and I plan out my day hour by hour and I try really hard to stick to that plan. But when I do that I don't allow time to let the spirit guide me. It ends up just really stressing me out because I try so hard to be perfect and I set these unreasonable expectations for myself. I know that it's good to have an outline for when I need to do things but it's easier if my life isn't micromanaged.
I felt much more at peace on Thursday and Friday than I had earlier in the week and although I always stay up later than I should (I know that's the number one thing I need to work on) I feel like I have been more productive and happier with the balance of homework and friends I was able to create this weekend. I want to definitely remember the peace I've felt and strive to continue in that pattern.
In Ether 12:27 it says "If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble...then will I make weak things become strong unto them." As I mentioned before I used to be much better off as far as time management is concerned but I am realizing that now it has become a weakness. Thankfully through our Savior I know that I can rely on Him in something as little as this and he will make weak things become strong.
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