Leadership in Networking

A successful leader is one who is able to network, and keep in touch with old relations. My sisters husband, Paul is the greatest networker I know. He is well-acquainted with Carlsbad because he grew up in Encinitas and his family and my family are both mildly influential and prominent in our communities so he has it made. Because he has such great connections everywhere he goes he is able to use them effectively for his work and for his family and the relationships he is currently developing. He has always stayed in contact with people he's met and is very good about remembering their name, their family, and he can ask them questions that are unique to their situations. He is a great example to me and to other people because he is so likable and friendly. I think that seeing him in action has helped me to see how advantageous it is to have those relations. Being a network attracts people to you, and as a leader you want to be likable so that people will want to understand you and be comfortable around you.
I personally think I relate pretty well to others and because I like to find people to be close with who are similar to me and my friends relate to people really well too. Therefore, as friends who are all networkers our circle can grow and grow and it helps you to meet people and have opportunities to love and serve more people than if you are working solo. As a leader I really think it is important to be a networker so that you can create relationships and learn from others to become better. I think that I am able to influence others through my positivity and confidence. If I was shy and negative people wouldn't want to listen to me for fear of ending up like a shy, negative person. It's better to be confident so that people will trust you and as far as happiness goes...who doesn't want to be happy? I know I do, so I try to emit that happiness and positivity that influences others moods and perspectives, and my own as well. I try to make others feel included and invite big groups of people to do things so that people will be able to feel "part of the group". I know that networking is such a great tool to become a better person and create more meaningful relationships all over the place. Our generation is great about networking and I just hope that people are utilizing ways to network and become contacted with more and more people.

Public Speaking

I think the most important thing to remember is that when speaking to a group you have to appeal to your audience. Something that I applied though, is just that in friendships and one-on-one situations you have to be aware of that person and their feelings. Therefore, in certain settings we have to appeal to the person. I have been conscientious of this fact so that I can better my communication specifically with my family members. Recently my sister told me that I haven't taken as much of an interest in her scholastic and social activities. This can be easily remedied by remembering all that we have in common and realize that I need to be less selfish and think of her more.
In public settings I can base the topic of conversation upon past experienced so that it can be personal for me and more effective and relatable for my audience. Public speaking has never been very difficult for me...I thought until recently. I can easily give talks in church and the only time I feel uncomfortable is when I am feeling the spirit strongly in a church setting and then I become vulnerable, but other than that I am usually at ease. The other day presenting my book report I only had about four minutes to do my presentation and unfortunately I was really jumpy and I just didn't feel like I did the best I could've. In the future I need to just be confident and calm and then I will feel more secure about the hard work I had put into something like that.
I am happy to have these blog posts because I feel like it's an easy way to keep notes from this class and apply them to my daily life and write my thoughts about how they are personal to me. I know that in my future it will be important for me to be a hard-working and selfless leader if I want to succeed in my future career, so I can look back on each of these posts like "public speaking" for example and remember how I can improve! Hopefully I can keep these and after this class is over I can continue to update about leadership or spiritual experiences I continue to have!

What Matters Most?

I have a little post-it note next to my mirror that says "what matters most?" reminding me to put the important thing first even when it may be hard. Being an ethical leader, all comes down to what you value and what is most important to you. It is crucial to be consistent. From group to group that a person may be involved in, consistency is key. I've had a lot of great examples in my life of ethical leaders, all of whom have created a sort of personal code of ethics and have been able to lead by following that.
I've had trouble writing this blog post for almost a week now. I keep coming to it to finish it but then I put it in drafts and try to come back to it. I think what I'm struggling with is making the perfect "Personal Code of Ethics". There are so many things that are important to me  but it's really simple. I know the things that matter MOST and I need to be loyal to those values which I truly cherish most. I don't want to write about what should matter most to me, or what I want to work harder on staying true to. I think I need to just be completely honest and write about what in my life I stand for and what I want to continue to stand for.
This Code of Ethics I promise myself to be true to. In situations where they are tested I will stand unwavering in. These are important to me in my personal life, social mannerisms, and spiritual growth. With this code of ethics I hope to become a better leader and friend to those around me.

Personal Code of Ethics
Family - I want to be first are foremost loyal to my family. Love my sisters, cherish my parents, and cling to them when I am going to trials.
Excellence - In striving for excellence I can become accomplished and valued. I hope by working toward excellence people will see me as a hard-worker and someone who can be an example and leader.
Integrity - I want to have integrity in every aspect of my life so that I can be the best I can be. I know that as a Woman of Integrity I will be a better friend, sister, daughter, and one day wife and mother. As I strive to have integrity, the more trustworthy I'll become.
Service - The more giving and selfless I am, the more I will be blessed. I want to give service my entire life. I know that it's a commandment and because I have been given much I too must give. I have every ability and ambition to give service and that is the kind of person and leader I want to be.
Happiness - Since I was young I have always been a happy person and I know that there is a silver-lining in everything. I want to help others see the beauty of situations and dwell not on their doubts and insecurities.
Obedience - Obedience, like integrity is something that is a personal decision. Other people may not have a huge say in the decision and only you can control it personally, to have the most desirable outcome.
Tenacity - In my life I face problems sometimes thinking "I'm not good enough" and it's not true. In being tenacious it will keep me persisting and continuing in determination. This is one thing that I need to be most aware of. That I am capable of so much and I can do anything through my faith and devotion to Christ, our Savior.

My analysis of SWOT

Doing the SWOT analysis really made a difference in how I've been able to see my strengths and weaknesses and how they have contributed to my successes and accomplishments. It made the reality of my procrastination-problem that much more of a reminder to me. The cards that we used in class boosted my self-confidence because they were mainly strengths that a lot of people could relate to, for example; cleanliness, ambitious, cheerful, etc. We've been given many opportunities to use our strengths. Great leaders are able to call their strengths at all the right times. “Chances are you will have many opportunities to lead during your own lifetime. As you will learn the path to great leadership starts with a deep understanding of the strengths you bring to the table.” 

On Monday for FHE we made cookies in the basement and I was really excited about making cookies and asked to give the spiritual thought because of the object lesson we had in our lab. I was able to convey the message the cookie-making is a lot like team work. As every person contributes their strengths to the group the overall outcome will be best. As people are able to compliment weaknesses with others strengths a team is strengthened and like a cookie will have a better product in the end. Without all the ingredients it doesn't taste as delicious, just a salt enhances the flavor it would not taste sweet and delicious standing alone. The most effective leaders surround themselves with the right people and maximize their team and understand their followers needs. Just like in missionary work it's important to understand and speak the language of the people you are teaching. Maybe not their exact tongue but at least understand where they are coming from so you can successfully reach out to them, touch their heart, and inspire them to go forth and serve.

Leaders are able to take weaknesses and join them together through their program where they can develop a higher level of learning. In our small leadership group for the project, Karina admitted to having very little patience and Madison nicely compliments her by being very calm, collected, and patient in trying situations. By knowing members of a team and knowing the strengths and weaknesses the whole team may be benefitted. One thing that really impacted me that I had never thought about in regards to weaknesses is how the path to comparing yourself is so slippery. It was mentioned that most people compare their weaknesses to other people's strengths, which is going to make no positive impact in any situation. It is never right or helpful to compare yourself to others to try and raise your own self-esteem, especially since we do not know what has made each persons strength a strength and their weakness weak. 

Dallin H. Oaks warns us that our strengths may also become weaknesses, “Those who engage in self- congratulation over a supposed strength have lost the protection of humility and are vulnerable to Satan’s using that strength to produce their downfall.” I know that by following a living prophet and listening to the counsel from parents and other leaders that we will be strengthened as we continue to follow in faith. 

Becoming Palin

Going into this leadership exercise I had planned to give a presentation on Sarah Palin, the leader I was assigned, but we just did some questions as a small group which was much easier than I was expecting it to be, so thankfully I came very over-prepared. I really enjoyed this project, learning about the leader, becoming like them, and dressing up, and I thought it was especially appropriate on Halloween! I actually learned a lot about different leaders and public figures through the discussions we had at our tables.
We had the privilege of being at the same table with Teddy Roosevelt. He was really interesting and had some similarities with Palin since they're both political leaders and had like motivations tactics. Teddy Roosevelt was talented in rallying up troops as a war hero and he was able to get thousands of men behind him and support him and that's something I found to be unique. Unlike other politicians who are concerned with the vote of the people, Roosevelt was able to actually relate to them and serve with them.
It's hard  to say that some of the motivation techniques would work for day to day leadership because many of the leaders that we learned about were extraordinary. In my daily life I don't see myself as being able to be such an influence over so many people. One thing that I know I can apply to my own leadership is working directly with the people I'm serving so leadership can become more of a service and people can therefore pass it on in a sort of "Pay-It-Forward" effect.

Motivation Through Inspiration

There are many ways to be motivated. As humans we are naturally motivated through flattery, bribery, manipulation, intimidation, power, and most importantly inspiration. I think leaders are most effective in motivating when inspiration is involved. To excite someone about a cause and seeing that person become truly passionate is amazing to watch. I know that when people motivate me and then I can look back on my growth I am proud of the things I've done. It can be simple things like, finishing my biology homework which I always dread, or bigger things like becoming involved in a service group and getting myself lost in service. I don't always willingly join every club or service activity but when I do I can always see the blessings from it.
Our speaker in class today gave examples of some very talented leaders who were able to motivate a lot of people for a particular cause. Many church leaders and prophets are especially gifted in this area. I think they are excellent people to look to in seeing how that have been inspirational for members in and outside of the church. One of the things that theses people have that I know I could definitely work on is public speaking. Next semester I want to take public speaking class because I know that could really help me in a lot of aspects. Motivating has a lot to do with the three C's -- Character, Cause, and Courage. In remembering the three C's it should be an easy reminder of the aspects of motivation that are necessary.
I've had a couple really great examples in my life of people who have made a difference because of how they motivated me. In the two examples I'm thinking of their reasons for becoming involved was because they loved me. It made such a difference because it was completely selfless, they didn't do it to get ahead in their own lives but they simply love me and want to see me happy and successful. The first one is my Mom, she's always been amazing she encouraged and motivated me to do what I wanted and assured me that she trusted me and had confidence in me. My mom always let me make my own choices but motivated me to be hard-working and a young woman of integrity and I think that has really helped me become the person I am today. Second is my high school counselor Mr. Ashton, he had hundreds of students to take care of but he always made time for me to stop by and chat with him about my life and he gave me such great counsel and advice. I appreciate the confidence he had in me and always told me that he thought I was such a capable young lady, he always motivated me to push myself and get outside of my comfort zone. He explained that there are some people in the world who need to make up the slack for people who may not be as hard-working or dedicated and that it's my job to be "one of the good ones". He motivated me to be a leader at my school, to stay humble, and be diligent in everything I do, but he was a friend to me and a familiar face that I was always comfortable with. I am so grateful for the people in my life who have helped me to become who I am, and I hope that someday I will be an inspiration to someone and be able to motivate them in a sort of pay-it-forward endeavor.

Good, Better, Best

After reading Brother Merril's talk it gave me a different kind of confidence on decision-making and the simplicity of the process, and simplicity it provides in a crazy world. Brother Merril encourages people to make just 5 important decisions. Decisions that I thought were especially important are: Decide that I am important, and decide to be married in the temple. The two decisions don't really go together perfectly, but I think that by making these decisions so many other small decisions will be made easier by having two broad standards to align my life with. I know that by making the decision to be married in the temple it will help me live my life in a way that will encourage me to get there. Rather than making temple marriage a goal, by making it a decision, a personal decision, I think it will make it so much easier to make that happen. One thing that we are reminded is that once decisions are made we must persist and re-examine the decision and make it a constant thing in our lives.
Decision-making has a lot to do with time-management and ties in with control. I personally control my time, no one else maps out my day for me and equally I make personal decisions. I can not rely on my friends or family, influences, etc. to make decisions for me that impact me. True, decisions impact people all around my through the way I act, treat people, carry tasks out, but ultimately I am in control of my own decisions and time.  
I thought the decision matrix that we were shown in class was so handy! I definitely plan on using that soon in deciding what classes I need to take for next semester. It makes things set simply and I'm a very visual person so I love to see the outcome or the possibilities of things. That's why I also like to use PRO and CON charts when I am weighing my options. I loved the quote by President Faust saying A choice involves making a conscious decision. To make an intelligent decision we need to evaluate all available facts on both sides of an issue. But that isn’t enough. Making correct decisions involves prayer and inspiration.” – James E. Faust. With that in mind, it's vital that I can align my life in a way that is congruent with being close with the Spirit and our Savior. I am so blessed to have the gospel in my life and to have the gift of the Holy Ghost that can help my and comfort me when I need it, especially in times of discernment.

Rules of Physics...

The hardest part for me about decision is the fear of upsetting someone. The rules of physics teach that every action has an opposite and equal reaction.
A lot of times it's hard at first but once the decision is made it's easy to follow through. Although every decision ultimately has a consequence, some decisions are more significant than others. President Monson explains, "Decisions determine your destiny". Such a lofty claim requires serious contemplation. Certain decisions do require more thought and consideration than others do; however, it is of the utmost importance in either case to make decisions in a timely manner. Timing has everything to do with making a decision, it's important to be conscientious of making a decision in haste and on the contrary waiting too long. I think more often than not, when I ruminate over a decision for too long, I end up confusing myself and becoming extremely indecisive. However, if I simply let my intuition take over, and make decisions that feel right, as opposed to make the most logical sense, I find that I am much happier with whatever I decided. Overall, it is never easy to decide something for oneself, especially in confusing situations, yet at the end of the day it is important to make decisions that not only make sense logically, but also feel right too.
When making decisions for the group it is important to focus on what is best overall, as a leader, decision-making must be selfless. After the decision is made, I need to remember to go forward with that choice. A lot of times I'll try and un-do something that I feel uncomfortable with, but I know that it's necessary to make the best of every situation! Theodore Roosevelt said, “In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing”. I need to work on being more deliberative and I need to stop worrying about all the other elements and fears that come with decision-making. When I need to, I can always seek advice from people who love and care for me and most importantly I can pray for peace and comfort and know that through living faithfully I can always receive divine help.

Put First Things First

Midterms would have been a great time to do a Facebook fast...however, I needed the extra push from these class discussions to encourage me to get off of Facebook. So this week, I have chosen to eliminate distractions and especially Facebook. Rebekah asked us to make "Fish" for the week which I didn't completely understand but I did it anyways and came up with two things: Implement a rewards system of making time for priorites, etc. Make school a job. Put FIRST things FIRST.
Tamara encouraged us to eliminate all distractions from our lives and it's helped me to work a lot harder on prioritizing my time. Right now I'm all set for using my time wisely but I know myself and in about a week or so I'll be right back to my old habits. So I hope that I can remember how productive I'm being and continue to work at it. It's been really nice and surprisingly easy to not have these distractions, it's made me work harder to take care of the relationships that matter to among doing day-to-day homework assignments.
The rewards system I actually already did, I just didn't even realize or put a title on it but I'll tell myself that I can't do a certain activity until I get something more important done. For example my favorite skit on SNL is called "The Lawrence Welk Show" and I wouldn't allow myself to watch the episodes until I got my American Heritage done, my sister has started incorporating this method into her study skills as well. It is a little childish to have to set limits like these but it's better to do than just procrastinate.
One of the things I learned from this lesson on time-management was that "Time= life; therefore, waste your time and waste your life, or master your time and master your life.” – Alan Lakein I know that by mastering time I'll be able to master my life.

Weak things become Strong.

Wednesday's discussion was perfect timing for all the crazy things going on in my life. The next day I had a midterm and Friday I had an essay due and I was just feeling really run down. I had been really homesick and felt like college was getting the best or me, and I had no more to give. When I had this lesson I was able to really apply it into my weekend and use my time wisely.
In class we discussed how people use the concept of "time" as an excuse and justify the fact that they aren't able to do things by saying "I didn't have enough time" or "there aren't enough hours in the day." But to remember what I've always been taught, that everyone is given 24 hours in a day, it helps me remember that I really am on an equal playing field. I truly believe that time is so precious and that we need to value it and make sure that we are dedicating ourselves to spending it wisely. It was important for me to remember these things because I have always thought that time management was one of my strong points as far as leadership goes. Since being here I have been proven wrong. In high school I was always able to balance my homework, and family, and social life, with school and extra-curricular activities. I don't really know what happened but it just hasn't been quite the same. I've been really hard on myself for it and I am happy that I've been reminded that the question is not managing time but managing myself.
I'm definitely one of those people who usually sits at my little desk the night before and I plan out my day hour by hour and I try really hard to stick to that plan. But when I do that I don't allow time to let the spirit guide me. It ends up just really stressing me out because I try so hard to be perfect and I set these unreasonable expectations for myself. I know that it's good to have an outline for when I need to do things but it's easier if my life isn't micromanaged. 
I felt much more at peace on Thursday and Friday than I had earlier in the week and although I always stay up later than I should (I know that's the number one thing I need to work on) I feel like I have been more productive and happier with the balance of homework and friends I was able to create this weekend. I want to definitely remember the peace I've felt and strive to continue in that pattern.




In Ether 12:27 it says "If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble...then will I make weak things become strong unto them." As I mentioned before I used to be much better off as far as time management is concerned but I am realizing that now it has become a weakness. Thankfully through our Savior I know that I can rely on Him in something as little as this and he will make weak things become strong.

Win as Much as Possible

    In class we did a game that was called "Win as much as Possible." With a name like that I felt like there was extra incentive to win and coming from a very competitive family my head was definitely in the game. Our strategy at the beginning of the game was foolproof. It was going great until one of the members of our team decided to stray from the rules we had set for our team, after she did that, there was a complete absence of trust and other members of the group started going against what we had originally planned as well. The Absence of Trust is Dysfunction #1 of a team. All it takes is one member of a team to do something and that can be really harmful to the other members who are trying to cooperate. For example in my family there are five daughters and I'm the youngest. So if one of my sisters did something like break curfew for example, or cheat on a test often times it led to my parents losing that trust in not just one of the girls but all of us. Unfortunately my sisters and I (as a team) had to work together to cover for each other and make sure that we were all on the same page to save each other from our parents losing trust in all of us as a whole. It's the same concept as a team, if there is a loss in trust it's hard to progress when energies are spent on rebuilding.

      A time that there has been major disfunction on a team was last year on my cheer squad. Freshman through junior year, our whole team had basically moved up together as a group from year to year. We had the same coach every year and we were all extremely close. Our senior year together, our coach was getting married and she decided to step down. We had a brand new coach last year and it was a major rebuilding year. This new coach was brand new to the entire program and she was a very strong personality. She was difficult to get along with and extremely stubborn, she wanted things her way and she did not want to reason with us and would never see things eye to eye. A lot of the girls wanted to quit and there was a total lack of commitment on the team. As captains Elann and I tried extra hard to unite the team by going to team lunches and meeting early for call time to go over the cheers and dances without our coach. At first it was a struggle but we got through the difficult stages of development until we reached performing. It was so good to finish out the season with all the girls at the beginning of the year through the end of the season!

RBA

Freshman year of high school I took a class called "school success" where we learned about study habits and other useful tools for high school. One thing that I still remember was that my teacher told me that we have relationships with every person we meet, and we call them RBA's or, relationship bank accounts. In a relationship bank account it's like a real banking account that you can put deposits into the relationships: to strengthen it, or withdraw from the account and weaken it. Our guest speaker in class reinforced the importance of every RBA that we make. There are five stages of a relationship that we learned about and most of the relationships. Most of my relationships at school right now are somewhere between surface and structure, which are the lowest levels. I haven't been able to get close with as many people as I would like to but... then again I am still just meeting a lot of people. But I am really really grateful for the significant and solid relationships that I do have. Being able to sort my friendships into these levels has given me a greater appreciation for those that I count as being in a significant relationship with. I definitely need to express my appreciation to them and let them know how much they mean to me.
Something I hadn't heard before which I found to be really interesting was the concept of being a firefighter or a fire-lighter. Fire-lighters are people who go out of their way to keep others fire burning and sustain their passion for something. I have had so many fire-lighters who have made such an influence in my life. From my high school counselor, to my cheer coach I have always admired the people who support me and believe in me. Because of some fire-lighting examples in my life, I tried extra hard my senior year as an upperclassmen to get to know the younger girls in the cheer and choir program and to encourage them to work hard in high school and do everything that they set their mind to. In doing so I made some friendships that I cherish so much. This one girl in particular, Sophie will still message me on Facebook asking for my advice about little things in high school and I absolutely love that she feels like she can still confide in me as her friend.
   This lecture gave me a lot to reflect on and I thought a lot about a friend who I abandoned when he really needed me to help him and support him. In April I realized that one of my friends was in a really bad place and they're influence on me was equally harmful because they were bringing me down. I evaluated how important his friendship was to me and I explained that I just couldn't be close with him anymore. After that and over the past summer I heard that he became really involved in drugs and alcohol and I felt so bad about not being there for him because I knew that all he needed was a good friend who could love and support him. After this lecture last week I called him and it was so good to hear from him and he was so excited that I had called him. We both apologized to each other for things that happened in our relationship and resolved to start over and just work harder. I am so happy that he is a part of my life again and he is equally comforted knowing that he is able to call me and I'll be there for him. Being apart has made things a lot easier for some reason. I think we both did some growing up and the beauty of a RBA is that unlike a real bank account you can never truly close a relationship, that's why friendships can be picked up after a period of time. The lesson this week really meant a lot to me, and I am so happy that I was able to apply it because I have really missed him. Now I feel confident that it is indeed possible to pick up old relationships and be a fire-lighter in people lives!

The Good, Bad and the Ugly.

    Sometimes conflict can be good, occasionally it's bad, but a lot of time it just ends up pretty ugly. In discussion we learned ways to prevent it getting bad or ugly. We learn that the outcome is often not because of your situation or other people involved, it's mainly how hard you are willing to work to resolve things. It's important to not place blame on other people in a conflict because then bitter feelings may come with the territory.
    The first step of resolving a conflict is overcoming your fear of the conflict itself. There are a lot of elements into solving a problem. You must consider how important the relationship is, how important the issue, and what all the consequences could be. This past week a girl in my hall has had some kinda sketchy stories, and nothing was really adding up. It was concerning her boyfriend and I just had a weird feeling that something wasn't right. I was nervous to approach her and ask her if she was okay and if she wanted to tell me what was going on but nonetheless I decided that maybe she could really use a friend right now to help her out. I ended up asking really broad questions to feel out the situation and see what kind of a mood she was in so I wouldn't end up offending her. In the end she confided in me that she has been really uncomfortable with this guy she's been dating and she just needed someone to talk out her feelings with. She explained that he's not a member of the church and she just thinks they shouldn't continue to date. I was really happy that she was able to come to that conclusion on her own. Although it was no where near a conflict for either of us I was still really nervous of the consequences of what she would think of me talking to her about it. Thankfully it all turned out and she was able to talk to me and I think we became closer through it. Sometimes it's important to just face what could be for an even better good in the end.

My Stupid Mouth

John Mayer is one of my favorite artists and he always has really personal and relatable songs.  After I broke up with a guy who really meant a lot to me, I played this song on repeat in my room while I stared at the ceiling. The song is describing a boy and a girl in conflict and there is a slip up where someone just says something utterly stupid. I feel like I do this and it's most detrimental with people that I truly care about. Sometimes I think that to avoid conflict it's in human nature to say something else to get around the heart of the matter. I've learned the hard way that this is absolutely not what I should do. 

  I tend to run away from conflict but in doing so, I dig myself into a deeper hole because fear prevents me from facing the problem. Avoiding conflict gets me no where...I just end up saying stupid things to try and get myself out.  The lesson about conflict really opened my eyes to seeing how much work I have cut out for me. At first I didn't agree at all with the statement "Conflict is the lifeblood of vibrant, progressive, stimulating organizations." Conflict always has such a negative connotation with it but now I know that it can be very healthy and effective. Conflict encourages growth, personally and within organizations so it had a very important role in society.

  I think some conflict can be avoided and it's important to "never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved". My roommate for example NEVER takes out the trash, and she never washes the rice cooker after she uses it. For me though, I don't mind cleaning and it doesn't bother me to the point where I feel like I need to bring it up, so it just works easy to do it myself. Maybe if it gets to the point where I'm really frustrated by it i'll say something but for now I'm perfectly happy going the extra mile and helping out :)

My Lucky Day!!

    The day we learned about communication in my lab was my lucky day!! I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches so much, and we totally made sandwiches in class. We were split up as pairs and one partner was supposed to make the sandwich and the other was supposed to give the instruction of how to assemble the sandwich. The point was to focus on how we need to communicate clearly with people. After, we were instructed to split the sandwich in half and share between the pairs. The lucky part for me is that my partner doesn't like peanut butter so I got a full sandwich all to myself!!
    Anyway, I know that as a good leader it's important to set a good example if you want people to follow. Not only do you just lead by example but there are many elements and one of them is through communication. New and different ways that I hope to apply communication as a leader include, being patient, making sure goals are the same, and involving other people.
   I know that I am an effective communicator but my weakness is definitely listening. It's easy to do simple things, like make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but when it comes to relationships or problems I tend to lose sight of a common goal and will only think of my side of things. I feel so bad when my roommate tells me stories about her day and I completely tune her out...next thing I know she's asking me a question and I have no idea how to respond. We've all been there at least once, and it's more than uncomfortable. I hate when people do that to me so I know that's something I definitely need to work harder at!

"Powerfully & Prolifically"

      I am really grateful that one of my strengths is being able to communicate with the people around my who are important and mean a lot to me. Unfortunately when there are people I'm trying to impress, or people who I don't know as well I feel like I need to be careful about what I say because I'm so worried about them not liking me.
     Our guest speaker Ms. Brittany Steele was able to give new insight about communication. One of the things that stuck out most to me was a quote explaining "Our communications reflect in our countenance. Therefore we must be careful not only what we communicate but also how we do so." This really made me think about my attitude and how I communicate things to people, especially my body language and the little things that I typically don't think about when I'm trying to make a point, or introduce new ideas. Something that I think I need to work on is being more receptive to other people and the things they say. In order to be a good communicator I know that it's equally necessary to be a good listener, and involve myself in others to be a good leader. Also in leadership there are time that I need to be more confident and take initiative. Something else that I definitely need to work on is being more analytical about problems. I can continue to have positive optimism and communicate messages that may be hopeful and inspiring to help other people.
     My friend Chloe is learning about the church right now and something that I wish I could do better is the way that ideas are presented. I don't want to confuse her or scare her away so I know that I need to be well spoken and easy to understand especially when discussing difficult ideas about church doctrine. Hopefully I'll be able to influence her and help her understand through my communication and countenance.

And we work it out.

Unfortunately, when I had logged on before it didn't save and before I hit publish it all erased. But mainly I focused on describing how it was more difficult than I thought it was going to be at first to create a group project that we all were going to agree on. At first we met together and created a vision and some goals for our project. We chose what we were going to do for our project but in the beginning it was a little bit awkward because since we're in a leadership class and learning about teamwork, I think we were all trying to be conscientious of each other and making sure that we weren't going to offend anyone or try and push our ideas too much. We didn't get everything resolved but we were able to get a really good idea going that I thought everyone was excited about. We decided to make a few calls and see if the project and goals were do-able and we were going to meet Wednesday night.
   On wednesday night we were able to meet again and over night I think people thought more about the project and they wanted to change a few things. After suggesting other ideas, we were all a little bit frustrated and just wanted to be able to settle on one idea and keep the vision that we had already created two days prior. After suggesting all sides of the outcome of the project and checking how feasible it could be, we decided on our original idea that I think will work out really well and the group seems like they're ready to take it on! In the end it all worked out and I think that if our group continues to apply the things that we're learning about in classes and discussions that we'll be really successful and it will be a fun project!

Having a SMART vision.

For Wednesday's lecture Ryan, our BYU/SA President spoke to us and presented a power point about the importance of having a vision and holding onto your vision. Being fresh out of high school and brand new to this university I thought it was all very timely. I've always thought it was important to have a vision and know the direction to take in your life but Ryan pointed out that: in life we have a plan that gives us hope and allows us to be charitable. With that in mind it's easier to map out your life with a purpose beyond self-fulfillment, but to be charitable and know that when my life is set and organized that I can devote myself elsewhere and give service. The vision I have for my life is to ultimately be married in the temple and live with my family eternally. In order to get to fulfill that I realize the importance of holding onto that vision and not letting go of it! Goals must be made to reach that vision. Goals that I've made are- 1. Creating a stable foundation for my testimony. 2. Keeping myself worthy to go the temple 3. Graduating BYU and 4. Working in Special Education programs incorporating music.

I was impressed by the vision statement of BYUSA and how important it is for the entire university to not only be personally healthy but reach out to the "intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, [and] physically poor among us." I also like that BYU has made it our mission to be centered on Jesus Christ and contribute to building Zion. I love knowing that we stand for those things and make it our mission to be proactive, it motivates me to be better!

Taco Bell Makes Friends :)

My friends Mom believes that she could use Taco Bell to solve world hunger. I am not quite that ambitious but I do believe that Taco Bell helps make friends! When Rebekah announced our service activity I totally expected it to be a walk in the park. Our objective was to apply the principle of "Knowing Each Heart" and to demonstrate friendship, love, and compassion to people that we have never met. I was excited to do this because I usually tend to join another person eating lunch and we'll chat until we run out of things to say....and then pretend to text our friends. Yesterday in this activity, I felt an extra amount of pressure to not only ask where they're from, what they're studying, and how they like the weather that day; but instead to really know them on a deeper level.
I stood in the line for Taco Bell talking to my sister and she was telling me about a book she's reading for a class and two guys in front of us joined in on our conversation. We were able to talk easily until ordering our burritos and then we sat at different tables. While waiting for our food, I heard someone say "so what's good here?", and as a Taco Bell fanatic I took the liberty to explain the menu, differences in prices, and the secrets of beef vs. steak. The man I helped just laughed at me and put his full faith in me and allowed me to order for him. It was really funny and then we just made small talk waiting for our food together about sports we like and food we eat! My sister Kat and I sat with someone who was by himself. I introduced myself and asked what homework he was doing. He explained that he was mapping out his weekly schedule for his Student Development class. We continued talking about his class and then I went on to explain that I also was in a Student Development with a different kind of course outline and explained a little bit about the class. We talked more about how he's liking his classes and it was really easy talking to him, he was really sweet. He had to go to his one o'clock class and then I sat with Kat finishing our lunch. One of the first guys that we stood in line with came back and said bye to us and mentioned that he was happy he got to meet us. It was simple and I know he didn't think to much into it, he was just being friendly, but it meant a lot to me for some reason. I think because I was particularly aware of people and relationships in those few hours. I feel like it was a better experience for me than it was for the people that I was getting to know. I was so impressed by the guy who just wanted to say goodbye and realized that it's those little moments that make such a difference in my day! So while I was supposed to be reaching out to people, it was the other side that made such an impression on me. It definitely was harder than I expected to "Know Each Heart", I hope that now I will be able to learn from this experience and make my small-talk conversations a little more worth while and personal...because there really does come a point when you can't talk about the weather anymore :)

"The Spirit to Serve"

I was impressed by several things in Brother Cox's lecture. I really appreciated his sentiments on the reasons and motives to serve. It's always important to put in check your motivation. I know that I personally can do a better job of being a "humble servant". In Doctrine and Covenants, Joseph Smith teaches us that he is our "humble servant and never deviating friend". The prophets have been a great example of service and leadership not only in the church but abroad. I love how service-oriented the church and the gospel is; which allows me to draw conclusions that because Christ, as the perfect leader, set up his gospel based on the principles of serving your fellow man to serve God, it makes the whole idea of service not a self-improvement program, but rather a sacred task.
At FOL I was ambitious of projects and other activities I wanted to become involved in, however I was very intimidated by the time-committment and the responsibility that would come with it. One of the speakers comforted me by mentioning that if you make time to get involved you will be blessed and you will do better in your schoolwork. After that I couldn't make any more excuses because if my aspirations don't involve service, I know I will be upset with myself and it would just be a whole lot easier if I got out there and started being a little more selfless!

Puzzle Pieces.

Before leaving for BYU someone mentioned to me "you'll learn a lot about yourself in college, like if you're the type of person who makes your bed everyday or not." As simple as this sounded at the time, I've found it to be very true. In these past few weeks I have learned so much about who I am as an individual. Coming to school was a real struggle for me and I left a lot of happy times in Carlsbad. The week before school started, I came up early and went to The Foundations of Leadership Conference in Aspen Grove. I was one of the last lucky ones to get in just days before the conference began. At FOL I was able to really evaluate myself and start putting the puzzle pieces together. I was allowed time to reflect about the leader I was and the leader I want to become. Questions I have considered:


Who Am I?
In regards to leadership I have been supported by people that I have loved and served. I found in different secular leadership positions that "Leading By Example" is affective but it's not enough. It is more important to get to know the people around you and the people you are working with than just being your best self. I am a big believer that becoming friends with someone is one of the greater acts of service that a man or woman can do. One of my most cherished gifts is my ability to make friends and stay positive in trying situations. I think that the light of Christ that I have is easily seen by others and it attracts them to me. By becoming close with people and sharing my happiness I know that they can count on me for anything and vice versa I can hold them accountable to be there for me. It's definitely a two way street as I see it. One challenge that I do have is trusting people. I wish that I could be more trusting of people but I know that starts with trusting myself. It's more of a complex idea than just a "get-to-know-you blog", but I know there are things as a leader that I have to work on, and I need to take time to better myself before I can be a leader to other people.

What I Do?
I am happy to go the extra mile and be a leader in clubs, sports, friendships, etc. I'm that friend who makes plans for the weekend and throws out invitations for everyone to get ready at my house before we go out. I really like working with administration and people who have held leadership positions. I think it's beneficial to observe how people interact and give directions. I am a huge people-watcher and like to learn about relationships. I live the idea "you GET what you GIVE". On sports teams I was privileged to be captain of three teams, an officer in two clubs, the vice president of my choir, and heavily involved in our ASB. The seasons that I was captain were so memorable and special to me because I put so much into the program and the girls on the team. I don't mind having responsibility, in fact I like to be held accountable for things. I like when people have expectations and standards that I have to live up to, it's almost like it keeps me in check. If I'm not doing it for anyone else, I'm doing it to better myself. A successful is selfless though which is kind of contradicting of my last statement, but it's important to "make sure you have your own life in order before you act as a leader and influence others".  When this is done you can begin to meet other peoples needs and look for ways to serve them.

Why I do, What I do.
I simply do what I do because that is when I am happiest. We are all here on Earth for the same reasons and I want my time to be the best I can make it. With that in mind, and happiness and fulfillment as my goal it is the obvious choice to serve people and to become a leader in the capacities I've been called to or if there is a need for leadership. Sometimes I feel selfish almost because it all ends up coming back to me and is making me a better person. It goes in a full circle, but that's the beauty of service.